I’ve written an article about cute & funny names for cacti, and while I have to admit, those are absolutely my all-time favourites in terms of giving “pet” names to plants, it doesn’t seem fair to go without giving at least some of the stunning succulents out there their “day in the sun” with a name recommendation or two.
There are plenty of fun, cute, & punny names out there for cacti that revolve around their sharpness, and if you’ve got a sharp succulent, like an agave or aloe with spines, you may want to re-appropriate some of those hilarious cactus names.
Euphorbia milii is a third – incredibly sharp – succulent that isn’t a cactus. Though it doesn’t have spines, it actually has long, sharp black thorns. Yup, you heard that right, thorns on a succulent.
Heck there are even echeverias with sharp tips. So you could appropriate the “prickly” names from the cactus names post, using them to name a particularly “hurtful” echeveria as well.
That being said, most succulents aren’t particularly sharp. Although, as I’ve pointed out, there are obviously a number of exceptions to that rule!
If your succulent is something like a jade plant, a kalanchoe (my favourite – the blossfieldana – so many different flowering colours!) or a sedum, for instance, you’re going to need another route to find a good name.
While – in my opinion – these aren’t as good and (let’s be honest) funny as the cacti names, I’ve managed to think up a few ways you could go when naming succulents – from naming by colour to using alliteration.
There is one category that I thought up all on my own that, in my opinion, is as funny, if not more funny, than the cactus collection of names. That’s the one based on pop culture, and spinning the common names of oddly-named succulents like gollum jade plant with a pop culture reference, like “Smeagol” (the original name of the character “Gollum” from Lord of the Rings).
As I mentioned in my article about cactus names, there’s something strangely appealing about having a collection of plants with quirky and witty names on their labels instead of scientific ones. Or, to be honest, in combination with scientific ones in case anyone would like to know the actual scientific name, on top of the amusement of the “fake” pet names you’ve given a plant.
I imagine it’d make for a really great conversation starter when you have new people over to your house, and as your collection of quirky names grows, your friends could be in on the fun, helping name new specimen you’ve added to your collection along the way.
There’s something really lovely about planting a succulent in an individual pot on it’s own, leaving it to get really big, or if it’s already reached it’s maximum size, showing it off in a pot to itself with some gorgeous top dressing rock. They really do make for excellent stand-alone plants, even though they’re obviously also stunning when you put them together in arrangements.
The fact that they’re so good on their own leads me to believe that a succulent collection would make for as good a collection as one made up of exclusively cacti, or even a mix of the two, with these sorts of names thrown on their labels.
I think I might actually make one of each for myself – a specimen collection of cacti and a separate specimen collection for other succulents!
Let me know in the comments below if you can think up more cute, quirky, fun, or even hilarious succulent names. If you’ve ever named a succulent or wanted to, what types of names strike your fancy?
Cute & Funny Succulent Name Suggestions
Funny Succulent Names Based on Pop Culture
These for the most part I made up on my own because I thought it was too funny that there existed a plant in the succulent world called the “gollum jade plant.”
That one particular plant got the ball rolling in my head, so I started looking for other really colourful names of succulents and managed to find so many that could easily lend themselves to being named after famous characters, individuals, even celebrities, so I went wild with this one.
Are there more that are likely incredibly amusing that I haven’t thought up? I’m sure there are, and if you can think of any, please let me know.
I have to admit, these are probably my favourite succulent names because of just how much of a kick I personally get out of them! Without further ado…
- Smeagol, from Lord of the Rings (for gollum jade plant)
- Babar (for elephant bush plant)
- Jesus (for crown of thorns succulent)
- Donkey, from Shrek (for burro’s tail succulent)
- Katy Perry (for flaming katy kalanchoe)
- Jennifer-Lynn Hayden, from DC Comics (for jade plant)
- World Wildlife Fund/WWF (for panda plant kalanchoe)
- Reputation, the Taylor Swift album (for snake plant)
- Snakes on a Plane (again, for snake plant)
- Marty, from Madagascar (for zebra plant haworthia)
- Moby Dick (for whale’s tongue agave)
Ironic Succulent Names After Other Plants
This way of naming succulents is also funny, though in a much more subtle way.
Basically naming a succulent after a completely different plant – either one that it sort of looks like or one that it looks the complete opposite of, heck even a random plant would work – sounds to me like a recipe for a lot of confused looks if you get any house guests that take quick peeks at your knick-knacks and other collections.
And who on earth doesn’t love a confused house guest? Too fun.
Cute Succulent Names Based on Alliteration
I do think using alliteration to name succulents is quite an adorable naming convention if you’re considering having one.
There’s nothing more adorable in my mind than meeting a haworthia named Heathcliff, or a spider plant named Simon. Too cute for words!
There are so many more good ones for this category that I’ve certainly left out – do let me know favourites of yours I’ve missed in the comments!
- Sarah the Succulent
- Eve the Echeveria
- Joe the Jade Plant
- Alex the Aloe
- Heathcliff the Haworthia
- Randy the Rhipsalis
- Samuel the Sedum
- Amelia the Aeonium
- Kaity the Kalanchoe
- Simon the Spider Plant
- Agatha the Agave
- Cyrus the Crassula
Succulent Names Based on Shape
I really couldn’t think of a lot of these off the top of my head, but I do find them ever-so-amusing, probably more than I should.
I would actually love to spritz these types of names in my collection of succulents, if I ever get around to making one and adding all the labels (I probably will). But I’ve managed to think of such a small number of succulent names that are based on the shape of the plant that it’s quite sad.
Please oh please do take a moment to leave a few recommendations if you can think up any in the comments down below! I would be ever so grateful for the help!
- Bubbles (for jelly bean sedum)
- Rose (for flower-like aeoniums or echeveria)
- Pebbles (for some sedum)
Succulent Names Based on Patterns or Stress Patterns
Naming succulents after their stress patterns is another option I really love.
You can also name them after patterns they have regardless of stress, of course, especially if they’re variegated.
Amusing Titles for Succulents
I saw these online and I thought I should share them. I like them quite a bit, but they definitely don’t fit in any other category, so they got their own!
- The Unwatered
- The Green One
- Succulent The Spiny
Cute Succulent Names Based on Colour or Stress Colouring
This idea is a pretty obvious one, but I feel it would make for quite a nice naming convention.
If all the succulents in your collection were given gorgeous names after their colour or their stress colours, you’d have a lot of options to choose from (colours have so many names!), and you’d have a really cohesive collection that made sense to house guests who stumble on the labels.
And if they don’t make sense, say because there’s a purple colour succulent name given to a plant that’s not stressed out at the moment, you could explain that, given the right conditions, that particular plant would turn purple!
Super conversation starter for those who come across your collection and are new to succulents, but also curious about the plants.
Names for Green Succulents
- Jade (could be funny for jade plant, very literal; or ironic for a non-Jade succulent)
Names for Purple Succulents
Names for Blue Succulents
Names for Orange or Red Succulents
Names for Brown, Yellow, or Gold Succulents
Your Thoughts on Succulent Names?
What do you think are some of the best succulent names? Which methods of naming (by colour, by alliteration, etc.) do you think are cutest or the most funny? Can you think of more I haven’t thought up?
Have you ever named a succulent? Which type was it and what name did you end up giving it?
Looking forward to hearing your thoughts in the comments below!