Who on earth doesn’t love a good pun? If you’re obsessed with plants, succulents, or even cacti in particular, there’s just something magical about combining your passion for these with an enjoyment of punny one-liners.
I took the time to do some digging and put together a list of as many cactus-related puns as I could, just in case anyone out there wanted to sift through them for their own amusement or to use on a birthday, Christmas, or Valentine’s card, for instance.
I’m not going to lie – I started out thinking there were probably only a few really good puns out there, boy was I wrong!
The sheer volume of – not even succulent and cactus puns – but merely cactus related puns people have put out there, amazes me.
They’re slathered all over mugs, t-shirts, cards, calendars, and a plethora of other adorable novelty gifts for those plant-obsessed people in your life.
While yes, a lot of them revolve around the same play on words, this also means it’s relatively easy to invent your own if you have a particular message you’d like to get across with a prickly pun.
Puns that revolve around cacti typically have something to do with how cacti are sharp, prickly, pointy, or the fact that they stick to other things, though there are quite a lot of exceptions to this rule, like the puns that play on the word “cactus” itself or those that allude to cacti being desert plants.
I’m not going to drag this intro out much longer because the puns really do speak for themselves!
I’ve done my best to divide them up into different sections so they’re easier to browse and it’s easy to search for puns if you want them for a particular event (like Christmas), setting (like a classroom), or occasion (like asking someone out!).
Do take a moment to let me know if you know of any others that are great in the comments section below – as well as if you have any favourites!
Funny Cactus Puns for Every Event, Setting, & Occasion
Pick up Lines That Have to Do With Cacti
These cacti puns are adorable ways to ask someone out, or tell someone who loves plants and cacti in particular that you like them.
I think they’d make for great Valentines day cards as well, but they aren’t general Valentine’s cards, at least not in my opinion. They’re more indicative of a deeper liking/a crush than that.
- You’re looking sharp.
- You prickle my fancy.
- Cacti+ cactyou = cactus.
- I’m ready to take it from “cacti” to “cactus”
- I’m stuck on you.
Cactus Puns for Significant Others: Boyfriends, Girlfriends, Husbands, & Wives
These are oh-so-cute puns that would make great cards or gifts for husbands, wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, or just in general significant others who love cacti.
I’m sure there are so many more adorable cactus puns that would make for great cards for significant others. If you can think of any more, or if you’ve received one of these and loved it, please let me know in the comments below!
- We make a prickly pear.
- My life would succ without you.
- I’m so glad we pricked each other.
- You’re stuck with me.
- My boyfriend/girlfriend is prickin’ awesome!
- If you were a cactus, I’d prick you!
Puns Mixing Cacti + Friendship
If you have a best friend or a good friend or co-worker you’d like to gift a funny cactus themed card to, these make for really excellent sayings to put on a card.
I especially love those that have to do with sticking. I’m sure there are so many different ways you can use that pun in even just this context. Let me know if you think of more!
- I’ll never desert you.
- Let’s stick together.
- You’re my favourite prick.
- Best friends stick.
- You’re a prick, but I love you.
- The untouchables.
Cactus Birthday Puns
If you have a friend or acquaintance who you know for a fact loves cacti, and his or her birthday is coming around the corner, you might want to take out your art supplies and use one of these birthday pun one-liners on the front – or even use one on the front of the card and another in the middle.
Some of these puns actually work perfectly if they’re broken up into two parts, which is ideal if you’re making a customized card so you can have one line on the front and one on the inside.
Just take a moment to draw a little cactus on the front and/or the inside of the card and your pun should be completely understood, and should go a long way to making your friend, co-worker, or acquaintance feel amazing on their birthday because of just how adorable and thoughtful your cactus-themed birthday card (or whole present, especially if you’re gifting a potted cactus along with your card!) is.
- I hope your birthday is on point.
- Looking sharp on your birthday.
- I wanted to make up a cactus joke for your birthday, but I’m just not that sharp.
- Happy Birthday! I hope it doesn’t succ.
- Who knew you could still look so sharp at your age?
- Another year has gone by… and you’re still looking as sharp as ever!
- On your birthday – party your cact-tush off!
- Happy birthday [name], you’re my favourite prick!
- Birthday hugs!
Cactus Valentine Puns
If you’re looking for cactus puns to put on a Valentine’s day card, these are a few great ones. I really should have more in this section, however, so do let me know if you can think up any cute Valentine’s day cactus puns besides these!
The puns that are in my “Pick Up Lines” and my “For Significant Others” sections would also work really well on Valentine’s day cards.
The ones in the “Friendship” section might do the trick as well, if you’re planning on giving Valentine’s day cards or presents to friends as well as someone you fancy.
- I prick you to be my valentine.
- Looking sharp, Valentine.
- My point is, I like you.
- You make my spines tingle.
Cactus Christmas, Holiday, & New Years Puns
If you’re thinking about giving a cactus themed holiday card, like one for specifically Christmas or New Years, or heck, even one that’s generally themed around the holidays, I think these are ever-so-cute.
I definitely think a cactus themed card would be greatly appreciated during the holiday season by any plant lover.
- Merry Cactmas!
- Hope your holidays don’t succ.
- We wish you a merry cactmas.
- Have a fancactus new year!
- Merry Christmas you prick.
Advice in Cactus Humour
I really don’t know when you’d use these. Maybe as a pick-me-up for a friend who’s in need of this particular advice and loves puns and succulents, or puns and cacti in particular?
I just found them on the net and thought they were way too good not to share, so here they are! Probably my favourite category of cactus puns, if I’m honest, so if you can think of more advice in the form of cactus jokes, please-oh-please do let me know!
- Don’t let the prickly things in life bring you down.
- Cacti are the only pricks worth dealing with.
- Grab life by the thorns.
- Chicks before pricks.
- Cactus makes perfect.
- We grow when things are tough.
- Don’t let pricks get you down.
- Life may give you a cactus – don’t sit on it.
Meta – Cactus Puns About Cactus Puns
Another one of my favourite types of pun in general, though these are especially cute when we’re talking about cactus related puns if you ask me. There really aren’t many, but the ones I found, I really love.
- Cactus puns are succulent.
- My cactus puns get to the point.
Prickly Puns That Describe You
I found a slew of odd little descriptive cactus-themed puns that have little to nothing to do with anything besides explaining away moods in the form of puns.
I think these are so cute, but I have no idea what you could use many of them for. Do let me know what you think in the comments.
- Feeling prickin’ awesome!
- Can’t touch this.
- Sun’s out, guns out.
- Prick me, prick me!
- I can be a little prickly.
- Let me get to the point.
- I’m on pins and needles.
- Looking sharp, feeling sharp.
- Getting up to scratch.
- I’m not a hugger.
- Feeling fan-cactus!
- I’m untouchable.
- I didn’t mean to be a prick.
- I’m just here pricking up the pieces.
- I happen to be in quite a prickle.
Cactus Puns About Other People
Yet another category I found to be way-too-hilarious not to share, but these are a little more clear in terms of what you can use them for.
I think these would make hilarious cards. For what occasion? That’s a question I don’t have an answer to. They’d make really great mugs, t-shirts, cards, calendars, and other novelty types of gifts as well if you ask me.
- I’m no cactus expert, but I know a prick when I see one.
- Things are rough, but you’re still blooming.
- Such a prickly eater!
- Don’t be a prick.
- Don’t be a cactass!
- Pretty fly for a cacti.
- I’ve got a bone to prick with you!
- You’re fan-cactus.
Puns Mixing Cats + Cacti
These are short, sweet, and to the point, but if you have a cat like I do, or you know a cat owner who also adores cacti, these would make for a great little t-shirt or mug, which would be a super sweet gift.
- Catcus garden.
- Catci are so cute.
- Crazy cactus lady.
Classroom Cactus Puns
I really didn’t imagine I’d find cactus classroom puns, but there were a number of these around the net that I actually adore!
I particularly like the idea of playing on “sharp” in terms of calling students smart. That’s a fabulous way to bring up confidence in students while also getting a really sweet pun in there! I’d definitely write these up on the chalk board with a cute lil’ drawing of a cactus if I had a young class to teach.
Some of the “Advice” puns might also work for this use, by the way. For instance, “Cactus makes perfect,” “We grow when things are tough,” & “Grab life by the thorns.”
- We’re going to grow this year!
- In this class we stick together.
- Pointed in the right direction.
- Life’s tough, but so are you!
- One sharp class!
- Stick with it until you’re proud.
- Never desert a good book.
- Growing strong.
Your Thoughts on Cactus Puns?
Have you heard of any other cactus puns that didn’t make it to this list? Can you think up any more off the top of your head?
What are your favourite cactus puns?
Have you ever used cactus-themed puns for any event, occasions, or in a particular setting? Which did you use and in what types of situations?
Looking forward to hearing your thoughts & stories in the comments below!